If you were to ask me what my life would look like in a year last November, I never would have envisioned my current day-to-day. I often find myself living in a series of flashbacks, comparing then to now, and giving thanks for all the tiny blessings in my life. For me, life always felt quite muddled and unorganized and unknown; however, now the muddled, unorganized, and unknown mess feels less like a negative and more like a positive influx of love and experiences I never quite imagined. While this year professionally is still proving to be a massive hurdle obstructing the pathway to the rest of my life, there are just some moments that make the race worth it.

Last Friday was one of those hurdles for me. It was probably my worst day as a teacher, and I felt like I could not continue chugging along the career byways for much longer. I'm already worn out and stressed, and with work continuously piled on last minute, I don't know how much longer I can last. But, I know that I must persevere, course-correct, and prove to myself that I can do this right now, but if I had the choice to stay or leave, I'd move on to bigger and better things.

I spent my entire drive back home to east-central PA stuck in a turbulent mixture of sobs and angry shouts of frustration from the day's antics. I thought the distance would do me some good considering I had to brace Mr. Know-it-All's extended family at his cousin's wedding weekend the very next day. However, I felt even more broken and defeated as the mileage decreased and my sobs matched the unending rhythm of the severe thunderstorms that blanketed the sky for the entire 300 miles I spent in the car between Ohio and my hometown.

The drive seemed endless as the rain beat down on my compact car, but I made it home in one piece even though at times it was a bit iffy. I spent a sleepless night trying to keep our two Yorkies calm, cool, and collected after their Queen left for an extended weekend getaway to Hawaii. I managed to squeak in a few minutes of blissful rest before I woke up to the rhythmic sounds of one Yorkie's dry-heaving. In an attempt to remove her from the pillowy premises, she urinated all over me at 4:00 a.m. Oh, did I forget to mention the best part? I had to be up and out the door by 7:00 a.m. to take the Pennsylvania English Language Arts Certification test in Bloomsburg a good hour or so away from my house. I was living my best life, and the day would only get better from there. (I hope all you lovely readers have caught on to my blinding sarcasm because Friday through Saturday consisted of a never-ending strain of hurdles that cause yet another mental breakdown.)

After I aced my certification test - an hour early - I decided to drive to my hair appointment in Hazleton so that I could locate the building. I remembered that the building was quite odd and hidden, and I wanted to be sure I gave myself plenty of time to put my nondirectional abilities to good use. Of course that portion of my Saturday was a disaster, and I will continue to go down in history as the woman who can never find the building no matter how the GPS redirects.

God bless Mr. Know-it-All and his dad because all of their attempts at finding this hidden hair salon did not go unnoticed. I drove around downtown Hazleton for about an hour going up and down each and every street in the general vicinity of the address to no avail. I was snippy and sobbing once again, and all I wanted was a haircut. But, I got to go home and spend some time with my dogs and cats before heading out to this wedding, which I guess was a blessing in disguise. I was able to complete some practical and menial tasks that made my Sunday a tad easier.

After I arrived at my doorstep and let the last few salty drops carve tracks into my cheeks, I made myself rehearsal dinner ready. I finished gathering all of my belongings, made sure the dogs were ready, took a few deep breaths, and left for what would be two days I'll never forget. This past weekend gave me so much more insight into the man I hope to marry one day, which sounds crazy, but when you know, you know.

I witnessed him make sacrifices that I'm not sure I would be willing to make if I were placed in a similar situation. I watched how he interacted with his cousin's children - the way that he explained matching games to a 3-year-old and attempted to console her after she fell off the chair onto the hardwood floor. I watched him as he watched me during the vows; his eyes locked on mine and his smile melted my heart. I noted the stark differences in his maturity compared to those much older than him, and I couldn't be luckier to call him mine.

I caught glances of him all day in his dapper tuxedo as he traversed with the wedding party and I spent time with his parents. Every now and again I'd catch that look that I hope never fades - the look that ends with "just taking it all in." He held my hand and introduced me to his family; he even managed to get me onto the dancefloor. Our combined lack of rhythm was quite a sight, but nothing beats his mother's dancemoves. They were high on the list of highlights from my weekend with my love ... long live the finger points.

All weekend Mr. Know-it-All kept apologizing for bringing me along, and my response remained consistent: "There's no place I'd rather be." I honestly couldn't imagine being anywhere but by his side. I had so much fun laughing and dancing and informally planning our own wedding. It was surreal being in that setting with the person you know you're wholeheartedly meant to spend the rest of your days with because it makes it so much more emotional. No offense to the bride and groom, but I couldn't keep my imagination from wandering to Mr. Know-it-All and all of the exciting times we have ahead of us.

The worst part about our time together is the day when we have to leave each other. That pain is worse than anything I've ever felt. My Sundays will always be the worst day of the week because I typically spend them agonizing over the distance as it gradually increases once again. Last night, before Mr. Know-it-All had to leave, I witnessed just how much the distance hurts him. I had assumed that I suffered more or that I let it show more, but last night I saw just how much Mr. Know-it-All loves me, and I'm glad that I did. Leaving the one you love behind is unimaginable until it happens. Letting go feels like forever, even though we know we'll see each other soon. However, I wouldn't trade our time together for the world because every time I see him I fall deeper in love. I never thought that possible. I'll never forget that feeling.

While last week was brutal, the weekend was worth it. I feel as if I can face this new week and prepare for whatever nonsense is thrown my way. With Mr. Know-it-All on one side and a steaming mug on the other, I can accomplish anything - unless, he steps on my foot again while trying to groove; then we might have an issue. Until next time ...